Abridged excerpts from Gurujī’s spontaneous seminars –
This is the real God. “Oh, He is indifferent, He is cruel”. Not cruel, He is beyond All! You can go to Him with happiness, with unhappiness, it’s the same to Him. If you attain this state all of a sudden and you’re not ready for this, you collapse. You collapse because you cannot understand Him. (You say) “What is this?”. “I am indifferent”. All your life, you grew in the belief that you have to be ‘interested’ in. So you contact that your Real essence is indifference. (You say) “What is this?”, you cannot understand. Because it’s not negative indifference like a human saying, “Oh, look at me. All people in africa dying by starvation, I am here eating a lot. I don’t care”. This is human indifference: “I don’t care”. But He is completely indifferent. As if you don’t exist.
The Guru is not watching you ever. Ever. You can be with Him and He is never interested in you. Anyway He is giving you all.
His state is so glorious, so awesome that He is giving you everything but He is not interested in you. How to explain this?! It’s like Muktānanda says about the Guru: The Guru is not watching you ever. Ever. You can be with Him and He is never interested in you. Anyway He is giving you all. And you cannot understand! Because you think: “Oh, if the Guru is all the time watching me, interested in me, He is ‘giving me’…”. No. Maybe no, or maybe yes, or maybe He is completely indifferent to you and is giving you Liberation. And you receive Liberation and say, “But He never paid attention to me. How is it possible that I received Liberation?”. Nobody knows. He is like this. It’s a mystery. He is like this Sphinx (in Egypt) I was speaking about. It is completely indifferent. It is watching the horizon; is watching the sun emerging, is watching the infinite. It’s not interested in you, in your life, in your family, in your dog, in your unhappiness, in your happiness… whatever. It’s not interested. It’s completely transcendental.
And a contact with this Reality without being readied by this Reality… This Reality makes you ready. Because His state is so awesome that He is indifferent but at the same time is getting you ready. He is impossible to understand! So when you are ready by His Grace, when you are ready to realize that Reality (that you are This!)… You can. If you access that state by accident, you collapse! Your mind collapses; cannot understand. Because your human life is completely different to that. This is the rock. This is the state of Śiva.
He can give you all but with complete indifference. This is His awesome state.
If you go to Śiva to ask Him: “Why did you create this horrible universe? This horrible world… why?”, He cannot reply. He is not interested. And He has no idea about this universe. He is completely transcendental. “What universe?”. If He can reply He will tell you “What universe?”… Transcendental. That’s why you can go to Him with request… you can go to Him with whatever you can have to go to Him… but He is not interested. And He can give you all but with complete indifference. This is His awesome state. And when you get Liberation, you need to tolerate that state. Or you cannot get Liberation. So, Liberation is like a rebirth. You are reborn. And to be reborn, first you need to die. But a few people in this world are interested in dying (Not the physical death –the body–, No. Dying… their individuality –their ego-s–). A few people in the world are interested in that. The rest are only interested in improving their lives somehow. I don’t know… being slimmer, being healthier, having more children, having more food, more comfort, having a beautiful car. Common people are like this. They are interested only in fixing a little bit. For example, “Oh I am distracted. I want to remove my distraction”. So they work a lot to remove distractions. But a few people in this world are interested in destroying completely their individuality (their ego), and to be reborn in God (in Śiva, in the Lord). These people are the disciples –the real disciples–. After the process of rebirth… being reborn, they are liberated – Jīvanmukta-s or Videhamukta-s or whatever. That’s the Great beings. They are the important people. But a few only. A few.